Take the Heat
by UniverseOfDiscord
Summary: Sabine, ex-United States Military, is marooned on a desert island with her former Republican Guard torturer. It doesn't take long for him to discover her dirty little secret. Add to that the threat of all out war with the others, no way off the island, and a dangerous romance to push Sabine to her limits. Things won't stay pretty for long.
1. The most sincere form of flattery

I was numb at first, overwhelmed by the sound of metallic groaning and the hiss of gas escaping rapidly from somewhere. A very sharp, pungent smell with a chemical undertone stung my nose along with the scent of burning hair. My eyes were sticky and I had to force them open, white-hot pain making its presence known as I turned my head to view the seat beside me.

The bastard was still alive, struggling with the airplane's safety belt and becoming downright frantic once he realized I was conscious. His beautiful blonde mane was stained with his own blood, well toned muscles straining to move a metal beam out of his way. Once he realized I was moving he threw his hands up in the air, babbling apologies and requesting that I put my vendetta on hold to work together through our unfortunate circumstances.

His pleas for help only jolted me into a sort of surreal state. The heat and the screams faded away and the smoke no longer stung my eyes. I cast about me and saw a warped piece of metal just large enough to grasp; and before I knew it my hand was around it, arm moving up and up. Something battered against my forearm and I felt wet warmth yet my grasp held steady and the metal slipped up under his ribs like a butter knife. Pushing into his chest offered a slight resistance, but he only looked at me as I neatly punctured his heart. It was all over in seconds.

Suddenly a pair of tan, masculine hands wrapped themselves around my face and I found myself staring into two dark pools. Whirlpools, to be exact, and I fixated as all that black rage, the hatred and vengeance drained right out of me. His lips were moving and the words lapped around me like a distant tide.

"What are you doing? Why did you kill that man?" he was repeating, frantic.

And then the grief hit me like a ten-ton monster truck without any brakes. Tears spilled over my eyes and splashed down onto the man and for the first time in over five years, I smiled.

"I am avenged," I tried to explain to him, relief coloring every word a rosy pink. Tears blurred my vision and set the world to spinning as it slowly dropped away again. The man who found me was saying something else but I couldn't make out what it was, and truthfully I didn't care. A blackout was coming and I let it envelop me. I had earned a rest.

* * *

 _In my shock, I pitied the police officers. They worked in such a gray, depressing environment on top of dealing with the scum of the earth- no wonder they had a rep for being testy and negative._

 _They led me down to the small parish morgue, past a small row of body coolers and back into the exam room where they told me they were keeping her. I swallowed hard and with every step closer to the door it was like my body was turning to lead. I didn't want to see her like that, I wanted desperately to go home to my sister alive and whole, stroking her belly and wondering when the first kick will come. I knew better, just like I knew I would have to walk through that door and face my worse nightmare._

 _She was strangled, harshly, and her arms were bruised from wrists to elbows. She had a black eye and a busted lip, the blood pocketing had twisted her face into some grotesque mask. Sitting over her heart was the same lotus flower that colored my own chest but I didn't need any identifying marks to know. Lauren was my twin-I could have told her ashes apart from others._

 _I knew it the moment she died, but somehow seeing her like this broke down a wall inside me and I suddenly found myself on the floor gasping for breath. I couldn't wrap my mind around reality and I felt like I was drowning. There was no way to exist without my twin, so why was I still here?_

 _The officer who brought me here blocked my view of Lauren's empty shell as she tried to soothe me with platitudes, but I couldn't hear her._

 _"She was pregnant," I heard myself say from a great distance. After all the trouble with Zach we had decided to move away and raise the baby together. We bought the house by the sea like we had always dreamed. We painted the nursery, bought the diapers, framed the first ultrasound. Lauren was thinking about dating again..._

 _Now she was cold, devoid of life, my other half laying broken beyond repair on an impersonal metal table, stripped of her dignity, stripped of the inner light that had shone bright enough for both of us all these years..._

 _The police woman slapped me hard across the face. The jolt was enough to let the air back into my lungs and I gasped like a fish out of water, but in another moment my mind was spinning out of control again and I couldn't breathe. I felt like I was disintegrating into a black hole that had opened up the second Lauren died. I had to plug it up with something before I was gone too so I frantically scrambled around inside myself for the answer._

 _When I finally found what I was looking for, a prickly-cold sensation swept through my body and cleared my mind. I told the shocked officer that I was ready for questioning and actually smiled when she offered me a hot lunch first. She was right, I would need my strength.  
_

* * *

I dreamed happy dreams for the first time since Lauren was murdered. I watched us grow from shy girls into bold women, I watched how we reveled in our prosperity and youth. Later, when we settled down, I watched us grow into cantankerous old women who frustrated our husbands. We spoiled our grandchildren and helped our children when they had difficulties in their adult life. We had cats, and one time a pig named Chops. I knew it was a dream too, a second chance that I had claimed for myself, so it was no surprise when it ended.

In that first moment, Lauren's death and everything that had come after was laid out in a neat, clear line. I looked at it hard and long; and then I let it slide into the ocean I could hear all around me and made peace.

Then I opened my eyes and found myself lying under a blanket that was just barely passing for a roof over my head, surrounded by a cacophony of beach noise and the sounds of the wounded. There were at least six other people laying around me and I could see a dozen more people moving around the surrounding beach. An average looking man with dark hair and a shaved face approached the tent quickly, eyes scanning the wounded and hands already busy with medical supplies. At his appearance I felt a hard knot of disappointment form in my throat; I needed more time to process and had absolutely no desire to talk injuries.

"You're awake," he announced in his best bedside voice, "how do you feel?"

"Good," I croaked, mind already racing for a way to thank him and take off. I tried to stand but, as doctors do, he snapped at me to lay back down until he satisfied his own curiosity.

"Do you remember what happened?" Speaking while shining a light in my eyes to distract me from the discomfort, he was obviously practiced.

"Our plane broke up in flight and we crashed on a beach," I answered simply, "and I remember who I am and what year it is."

The doctor made a noise that was half laugh and half sigh before tossing me a roll of gauze. "Dressings need to be changed a couple times a day."

"Thank you," I said sincerely, although it fell short of the lengthy bleating he no doubt received in his practice.

Predictably, a little more ice was put between us. "I'm Jack by the way."

"Jack," I nodded in acknowledgement and turned to leave. He stopped me before I could depart.

"I'm sorry, I don't think I caught your name?"

"It was never there to catch; but you can call me, Sabine," I tossed over my shoulder, definitely leaving this time. There was a beautiful night sky filled with more stars than I had seen since the war in 1991 and I didn't want to miss a second. Modern rescue attempts usually took a week at the longest and this free island vacation opportunity would be a crying shame to waste. Add to that a newly lightened heart and you had a recipe for a perfect get-away.

Seeing as it was too late to salvage a camp from the wreckage, I decided to stroll down the beach to take in the wildlife. The beaches of home were always so active with hundreds of little birds swooping in off the tide to feed. The large scuttle crabs were more rare, but always delightful to see hurrying about their nightly activities. It was the best kind of crowd to get lost in. With humans everything is all business, more like salmon spawning in a stream; the birds never forgot to stop and smell the roses, though.

It was easy to slink past the chaos on the first night of the crash. Do-gooders were frantically trying to help those in need while others were scoping things out and staking their claim. They were having conversations in every tone imaginable and some even sounded slightly explosive. Surprising few sat dotting the beach staring bleakly out at the waves, shocked to the bone over recent events. Another factor to consider was darkness the likes of which some haven't seen before and the instinct to fear it. The woods were alive with wild sounds that, if you haven't met anything larger than a racoon outside of a zoo, would be pretty damn terrifying. Panic would undoubtedly break out among some of the population by tomorrow night.

Getting far away from these people was starting to seem like the best available option.

Once the noise level from the beach had dropped off, I became vaguely aware of a man's voice calling out in my direction. I was so deep in my reverie that I started debating the consequences of reaction. It could be someone who helped rescue me from the wreckage, more likely it was some busybody making sure no sheep strays from the flock. As I became more lucid, it was clear that he was too close to ignore and I cursed silently to myself before plastering a passing attempt at a grin on my face. I noticed that I stopped a little too abruptly and spun just a little to stiffly to seem nonchalant, but it didn't really matter.

"Hello," I responded when the man had finally caught up.

The man just looked me over with a questioning look in his eyes. "What is your name?"

"Sabine," I tried for polite but had a feeling the effort went over like a lead balloon, "and yours?"

"Sayid." He was giving me a very sad expression mixed with recognition and something else I couldn't put my finger on. "Don't you remember me?"

Then the war came rushing back. This man had lightly tortured me for three days before I could escape. That time was little more than a painful blur, and I had thanked whatever gods had granted me such a lamb of a soldier. Our side wouldn't have been so heartful.

"I'm so sorry," he pleaded as soon as recognition flashed across my face. He took my hands and at such an intimate distance I could see genuine tears in his eyes, "and I do not expect you to forgive me."

"I never held it against you," I responded hollowly, and it was the truth. I was so stunned that nothing else would come to mind.

Sayid didn't know how to take my statement in and floundered for something to say. "I have shelter, food and water back at the camp. Please, you are welcome to anything I have."

I was feeling drained and exhausted, all earlier elation evaporated, and somehow returning to the masses with a man who was once a faceless enemy to break bread and rest wasn't such a bad idea.

Besides, I would need my strength.


	2. Develop that complex

The woman's red-gold hair looked like liquid fire when the light of camp danced into Sayid's tent. He was amazed that Sabine could readily drift off in the same bed as the man who disfigured her. Not a mark of it showed from under her cardigan but he had seen enough when the doctor was treating her injuries. He was ashamed that he couldn't remember more about his own actions, but what really stuck out in his memory was her escape.

He had only left for minutes to retrieve his tools after the morning threats wouldn't move her. Later, he had watched her on the security footage as she dislocated her shoulder, used her teeth to pry the knots apart, used part of the plumbing to pop her arm back in and laid in wait for him. Sayid had felt ashamed yet grateful that she had escaped so easily and before he was forced to do any real damage. Still, to this day the scars were thick and knotted. He didn't doubt that had served as a brutal reminder for the war and a handicap to her love life.

Thunder broke just before the dawn and flooded the meager camp. The canvas flap that Sayid had erected last evening threatened to rip off its flimsy posts. The people who had decided to sleep under open sky started and ran for shelter, not even bothering to ask for permission. Sabine started at the commotion and looked about in dismay as sopping wet refugees invaded their space. She gathered up the bag she had claimed from the wreckage on the way back to camp and pressed up against Sayid in an effort to get as far away from the strangers as possible. He could feel her scars through her sweater and winced inside.

"I'm going to go salvage supplies and then head into the forest for fresh water. I won't be returning," Sabine whispered in his ear over the thunder, "you are welcome to come with me as a companion."

"Why would you want that?" Sayid whispered back, dumbstruck by Sabine's casual offer. She was insane, by all standards.

The woman sighed, "When you tortured me, you could have ruined my looks or my mobility but you did your best to spare me the worst. Your empathy for my situation is what made you forget that I was a trained soldier and slip up. It was the best luck I've ever had, and if anything I've remembered you fondly."

Sayid actually had to laugh, drawing slight but fleeting attention. The storm made eavesdropping impossible and it was just plain rude to stare. "You remember being tortured, fondly?"

The woman stood and stepped out into the rain and Sayid had no choice but to follow. He was still trying to cling to his sense of guilt but it was quickly slipping away. He hated himself for the innocent victims of war he had made, specifically the women, but Sabine appealed to something nameless and irresistible. He even felt an electric jolt when she took his hand and pulled him into step beside her.

"You talked a lot when I was your captive. You pleaded with me to condemn a fair amount of my own people to death because you couldn't bear the thought of hurting the fairer sex. It showed that you had your own moral convictions; I find that to be very respectable."

Sabine stopped talking for a few moments and stared out into the bleak morning light. Sayid could tell she was lost in thought and waited patiently as they approached the cabin section of the crash. He did remember now that Sabine had been oddly silent through the whole interrogation. She forced herself to sleep through noise and pain, blankly endured water boarding and screamed only at the knife.

"During the torture I noticed something else."

Sayid was still trying to remember more details of their encounter when Sabine struck out as fast as lightning. In the time it took to blink his arm was close to being twisted out of its socket and his face was pressed against the harsh metal of the plane. After a moment he reigned in his instincts to defend himself and submitted to her will. He deserved whatever she was about to do and worse, for all the other victims out there.

"You hated that I was a woman but you enjoyed the torture."

It was true and he made no effort to deny it. He almost wept from the combination of guild, pain, and remorse.

"That's why you're acting like such a coward now, rolling belly up for some war-bitch with a grudge," Sabine hissed in his ear. Sayid jerked involuntarily at the jab, the insult making his blood rise. He closed his eyes in an effort to cling to what was right. He deserved this after what he'd done.

"You're just ashamed to love that part of yourself, ashamed enough to develop a death wish. Is this how you want to live, Sayid?"

Sabine's rough voice cut through to the core. He knew the answer without hesitation; No. He didn't have time to rethink, analyze, force the shame to overwhelm him again.

"No," he repeated louder so that Sabine could hear. She loosened her grip for just a moment and Sayid seized the opportunity to catch her off guard and turn the table. He could feel her shiver as he dug his thumbs into the scars on her wrists. His guilt had completely evaporated and was replaced with something darker. He rode the tide, exploring this new high, testing.

"You're not leaving," he ordered Sabine, relishing the feeling of command in his tone. The woman tried to slip out of his grasp but he just pushed her harder against the ragged edge of the wreck. "If you run I will find you and bring you back the hard way."

"What makes you think I'll listen?" Sabine challenged to Sayid's delight. He held one of her arms up and slowly pulled back the sleeve, exposing the angry slashes she was hiding.

"You've run out of mercy."

* * *

Sayid was a success and a failure. I was looking for an adventure companion with the possibility for intimacy, alone in paradise, roughin' it. Have a nice little fling until rescue came. I expected his darker side to need nurturing, like a vine, but all it had taken was a fading match to explode his bomb. Now he was bossing me around, acting like the gentleman boyfriend in front of the others, and going about his business in a strange state of serenity. Now I was bored out of my mind picking through these damn dead bodies for any scrap of technology that could help us.

"Don't forget to check pockets for cell phones," Sayid reminded me softly, a polite cadence that reminded me of the rich golden quality of the morning light. Gods, was I getting sappy or what?

I tripped over a bag half hidden in shadow and realized with a jolt that it was my own. I had watched the wreck all morning with an eagle eye, waiting until Sayid could come with in the chance that others would follow and make a problem for me. In all that time nobody had even approached it yet the signs of looting were plain to see. Nothing good was in my bag except the file, but the looter would have only seen a thick stack of books and better homes and gardens; but the books were gone along with my journal and the file on my sister's murder.

I felt my face pale and tried to keep my cool but only resulted in bolting madly for the beach. Blood was pounding so loud in my ears that I couldn't hear anything else. Adrenaline sent me screaming back to camp like a rocket. I scanned the beach with impeccable scrutiny, looking for any sign of luxury items from the plane and signs of the character type that would loot dead bodies. Finally, near the outer ring of lean-tos, I recognized one of my books. Then to my horror I beheld a sandy blonde man leisurely reading my journal, utterly absorbed. The file was laying haphazardly in the sand with a few crime scene photos poking out.

I felt myself teeter on the edge of berserk. Who was this jerk to take something so personal? Leave it lying around like Monday's tabloid? I marched forward with resolution and snatched the journal back, too angry for words.

"Does that one belong to you sweetheart? My apologies." He flipped his shaggy hair and grinned a self satisfied smirk. The set of his shoulders was one of practiced ease and his body guarded the file. He wasn't going to give it up easy, wanting to relish even the slightest power he had over another person.

That was it. Game over.

I lowered my center of gravity and launched myself at the man. He wasn't expecting such a quick assault and hesitated just long enough for me to wind him. I balled up my right fist and punched as hard as I could in his face, chest, and abdomen. First some ribs gave in, then the nose, and next I was being hauled backwards by several sets of arms. It felt like being swarmed by ants.

Then a photo from the morgue drifted across my chest in the beach wind. I lifted my head and saw papers, photos, notes, everything I had used to track the sick son of a bitch down strewed around for public display. My rage went from red to white and exploded across my vision. People were moving to pick up the mess out of kindness and then staring at horror at what they had found. It was a nightmare.

"Put it all down and leave!" I snarled so loud it echoed against the treeline. The onlookers were quick to flee and all that was left was the blonde man, Doctor Jack, and a woman I hadn't formally introduced myself to. She was very slight with a full cast of freckles splashed across her face and looked to be somewhere between scared and annoyed.

"What did he say to you?" she asked incredulously. So, she had her eyes set on the jackass, good to know.

In my anger I didn't want to give her the satisfaction of a dignified response. "What makes you think it was a conversation?"

"You don't have to be such a bitch. You don't even know his name, do you?" Now she was acting more feisty. Its amazing how people assume violence won't break out again once the participants calm down.

I spat at the ground and was about to run her off when Sayid had to show his face. I could see the big question mark form on his face before he looked down and got an eyeful of the debris scattered around. He stopped dead, stunned.

"It's all mine," I told him, "The man Jack is treating took it for himself instead of minding his own business."

"He took your stuff so you decide to beat him to death?" The woman's voice had climbed in volume and she had moved a step closer to me.

"She didn't even say anything," Sawyer groaned from the ground while Jack gave me the evil eye. Sayid was the only one who didn't look ready to spit fire.

Then all at once I recognized her. That slippery bitch was a fugitive. The Marshals asked me to sit with them as protection on the flight, keep an eye on her, make sure she didn't run the second the wheels touched ground. _Blackmail,_ beautiful and fortunate. A gleeful smirk crossed my face as I stepped towards her, shoulders set. She had a beautiful, dramatic defensive reaction as I bent to whisper in her ear: "How'd you ditch the cuffs, Kate?"

She went completely still and leveled a death glare directly into my eyes. It was fierce, but I had been in places with multiple groups of people actively trying to kill me. This little scrapper couldn't hold up to that.

I shrugged and let her sweat for a minute.

"The marshals asked me to sit in on the flight," I answered shortly, casually, keeping my voice low and one eye on Jack.

"Why-"

"I told them no out of sympathy for your case. Some rotten bastard pushed you over the edge when you were young and impressionable, I get that. So, are you going to stand there and be a hypocrite or go help your friend?"

Kate's glare lost its waver and she looked confused for about three seconds before storming off to Jack and Sawyer. They were talking about moving him and the crowd was encroaching again, leaving precious little time to get my things out of public view.

Pushing all shame aside I dropped neatly to the ground and scrambled to jam everything back in the folder. The sand was still damp from rain so the documents hadn't gone more than five feet. Still, it was a large enough circle of debris to inhibit any dignity if I wanted to be quick. I let Sayid help but even that felt like a blow.

Thankfully he was quiet the whole time and didn't ask questions when I tossed everything into the central campfire. It took an agonizing amount of time for the journal to burn through. By the end I felt like swiss cheese from all the holes stared into my back and it was all I could to do walk casually away down the beach.

"Sawyer knows about us," I whispered once we were out of the camp's hearing, "and more."

"I'm not worried about him."

He obviously wasn't getting the point.

"He knows a lot of dark stuff about me, and one thing about you. Still, you need to be caught up. I don't want Sawyer trying to drive a spike between us later with it."

I waited for Sayid to nod in acknowledgement before taking a deep breath. I hated this sharing crap and resented Sawyer for forcing me to unearth something that was nobody's business; but Sayid didn't deserve to be unwittingly judged based on my actions. He had to know.

"Once I was overseas an American General put my name up for promotion," I began slowly, "he said that I had two options, sleep with him and I get to stay by his side or torture and kill a man to stay by my boyfriend's side. I was quiet and meek and that made him doubt my constitution. In his mind the choices were sleep with him or die in combat. When Allan found out what I was forced to do he pitied me where I felt pride. During missions he felt scared when I felt alive. I fought to the death with my bare hands and came home feeling more satisfied than sex. The next day Allan requested that I start counseling after our next mission but we were caught returning to base. Allan sacrificed himself foolishly to create an opportunity for us to escape."

Sayid kept his face impassive but his eyes were full of empathy and regret. It was the same look he had given me last night when he recognized me from the war. Allan was his handiwork. Without meaning to I squeezed Sayid's hand hard enough to grind the bones together and make him flinch. Still, I had to continue.

"He signed us up for war thinking he would come home covered in glory, ready to start a family filled with pride for what he had accomplished. When we finally got him back all he could do was scream about 'the monsters consuming us'. He managed to escape from the holding cell they were keeping him in and sought me out. He thought I had to die for what I'd done. After all we had been through and despite all the love I had for him, I picked up my gun and shot him dead. I didn't even try to reason with him. I wrote about it in detail so Sawyer went through every dark thought that crossed my mind during that time."

"Do you regret what you did?" Sayid asked.

"No," I responded with confidence, "I knew that moment was coming when I couldn't talk him out of enlisting."

The pain in my knuckles was moving from moderate to severe so I lead us to a cluster of rocks and dipped my hand in the salt water. The nocturnal chorus was in full swing and harmony with the tide and the massive expanse of stars overhead was enough to light up every leaf around us. The ground was practically humming with a tantalizing energy and here I was with a handsome man. Leave it to fate to spoil a perfectly good evening. I tried to absorb myself in my surroundings and leave behind my tale of woe but Sayid was pushing a woman's picture under my nose.

"I was once told to do to this woman what I once did to you."

"Did you kill her?"

"I had to kill a brother to find her again. Now I am here with you, rethinking what I want."

That was a lot to take in. I was curious about the details but held in any questions out of respect for Sayid's privacy. He was looking pensively out to sea and I fought the urge to laugh. It could be the cover image to the movie: _Horrible People Shipwrecked Together._

"Penny for your thoughts?" I probed after an appropriate time, anxious for answers. I felt the web of emotional attachment looming before us and I was too emotionally shell shocked to sort out the threads. The spider at the middle? Most likely poisonous.

"I very much doubt that you have a penny," Sayid deadpanned without moving a muscle. It was some time before he spoke again and when he did he reached out and took my injured hand in a firm grip. "If I return to that woman she will expect me to be the kindhearted young man she fell in love with. Last night made me realize that I can't be that man anymore."

Keeping a neutral face, I carefully asked, "So what does that mean for you after we get off this spit of land?"

"I don't know," Sayid admitted honestly and much to my relief.

The tide was rising up over the rocks and splashing us to the waist and setting my hand on fire all over again. I felt my mood lifting and foolishly said something horribly idiotic, due mostly to the familiar crushing sense of loneliness encroaching on the horizon.

"You can work for me. I run a burlesque place in Chicago. There's always need for bouncers...or a new act." At the last part, a wry smile crossed my lips that I desperately tried to crush. What the hell was I doing, offering a continued affiliation to this guy?

"You own a strip club and want me to perform there?" Sayid asked, genuinely surprised.

I rolled my eyes, glad that the mood was lightening. "It's much more tasteful than a strip club. It gets pretty rowdy on the weekends. A dozen bouncers over the last three decades have been permanently damaged."

"Well, if we make it off this island, I will certainly consider it, but I am afraid most Americans wouldn't want to pay to see a naked member of the Republican Guard."

Good, not an outright yes, but now he was looking at me affectionately with those soft, dark eyes and plump lips quirked. The rush of adrenaline combined with exhaustion and hunger was enough to make my eyes swim. Scared and woozy, I splashed off the rocks, waded back a few steps and didn't see the wave until it slapped into my whole body. It seemed to strike and hug my face at the same time, in slow motion, and rocked my whole frame. The force was incredible and it was a miracle I remained on my feet as the tide threatened to suck me back with it.

Sayid stood and looked wonderingly at me while I stood stunned and soaked on the beach. Then we laughed hysterically at the welcome break in the tension until we were breathless. The next emotional eddy was depression and we sat in union on the wet sand, quiet and morose. I wondered at our situation. We were developing a romantic attachment very quickly under all the wrong circumstances. We could get rescued tomorrow and then what? Hole up in a hotel and screw until we figured out just what the hell was going on? It was already a destructive path. Best to focus on survival for now.

"I should go back to camp and face the music. The sun set about an hour ago and the others might need our help reinforcing the perimeter."

"Agreed," Sayid was quick to answer.

I stood and remained silent in the face of uncertainty. We had used a minor connection from the war as a basis to spill our guts, form an alliance, and publicly display ourselves as a couple. It was madness that needed to be acknowledged or intentionally not.

He was the first to rise to the task and offered a hand. Now the defining choice was mine. If I took that hand I was signing on to something I couldn't predict which I found both intriguing and terrifying. So, on nothing more than a whim, knowing I might come to regret it later, I took that hand and fell into step beside him.

"You still haven't explained the photos," Sayid commented just as the lights of camp came into view, "or why you murdered that man on the plane."

I was numb, almost giddy from everything that had happened. Too much and too little time to process made everything fall conveniently into simple black and white. The image of Zach's dead eyes still made me want to skip with joy.

"Oh," I practically sang, "He was just the rat bastard that murdered my pregnant twin sister."

* * *

Sayid helped those struggling with fires as Sabine talked peace with Sawyer. They had scavenged some dry clothes from a couple briefcases strewed around the treeline and Sabine had opted for a sleeveless white blouse. It was thin enough to reveal the scars across her back and abdomen and left the ones on her arms plain to see. She had also tied her hair back in a severe military style and changed her gait to the fierce, commanding stride of an officer. He felt himself pining for her and slapped himself inwardly, ashamed. The plane crash must have had more of a psychological impact than he realized. On the other hand he felt an instant and deep connection to Sabine. During the time they spent together in the war he was astounded at what he found in that deadly stare: respect.

 _"Congratulations," he had told her, pinching up a piece of unmarred flesh and slicing a shallow wound, "that was number one hundred."_

Sabine had lifted her head defiantly and smiled darkly. Sayid had completely forgotten the thrill that had given him. It was as if she actually enjoyed being pushed to the absolute limits, pushing right back at him. Now, remembering, feeling what he was feeling, Sayid was extremely confused. He loved another woman but couldn't resist Sabine, wanted to be a good man but knew it would kill him inside to do so. Or would it? He was pretty sure it would but was clinging to the hope it might not be true. It would certainly have been easier if Sabine despised him for his actions.

Sayid desperately wished there was an abundant supply of alcohol on the island.

A sort of rattling growl pulled Sayid from his reverie. It sounded like it was coming from multiple places yet one, echoing impossibly through the trees. The sand trembled as a new deep pitch joined the cadence...and then it was abruptly gone. A minute later a man started screaming, coming towards camp by the sound of it. Sayid automatically searched for something to use as a weapon and kept one eye on the tree line.

"Here," Sabine called from over Sayid's shoulder and dropped a bowie knife on the sand beside him, "a man name Locke is passing them out."

They moved as one towards the trees without having to discuss it, Sabine in the front and he in the rear. Sayid could feel his heart pick up in excitement and rode the tide, allowing his senses to expand and encompass the world around him. Sabine veered to the right once their feet hit soil and hugged the beach, eyes almost closed in concentration. After a minute she moved further in, barely making a sound. An odd sort of clicking broke the silence before the low rumble began again, growing in pitch.

Sabine outpaced Sayid by a few yards and broke into a clearing ahead of him. He watched her stop dead and put her knife away very quickly, head tilted back to get a better look at something, every muscle in her body taught as a bowstring. As Sayid came closer he could see smoke pervading the area with small bolts of electricity discharging throughout its body. It was unlike any phenomenon he had ever learned about and moved as if it were intelligent.

"Stay still," Sabine ordered when she heard him come up beside her, "put your knife away and let it check you out."

Sayid instinctively complied and stood stiffly as the smoke drifted around Sabine and circled. It passed close to his left side and it felt like being bitten by a swarm of ants. Then it condensed itself and slunk off into the jungle as if they were nothing more than a flies on shit. It was the more bizarre thing he had ever seen.

"What was that?" Sayid asked, feeling slightly jittery and trying not to show it.

"I don't know," Sabine replied, "but we're trapped here with it."

Sayid had a bad feeling festering in his gut over this and Sabine's ominous words only drove the point home.

"Let's get back to camp," he suggested, earning a nod of approval. Sabine gave him a long hard look that read 'get ready for battle' and marched back to camp with stiff shoulders. He just watched her go, sighing heavily to himself in the night wind. His list of troubles was growing longer by the hour.

* * *

After three days of hard, secretive work, it was almost ready. I had gathered jewelry off the bodies in the night, which was disgusting, and remained unseen. It took me the better part of the morning to find a suitable bowl shaped rock and build a hot enough fire to melt gold. Not that it took a whole hell of a lot, but it had to be just right. The woodwork on the crossbow was sublime if I did say so myself, with delicate leaves surrounding Sayid's name in his own language. The string was a bitch to get right. I had to spend the better part of yesterday plucking a forest bird for feathers. The bolts I had made were straight and deadly.

The gold was entrancing as I poured it carefully into the carved grooves. It soaked in the sun and turned it into liquid fire, softly reflecting the clouds as it cooled. I set the piece down and backed up a few steps to admire my handiwork. The wood was reinforced with metal strips and rivets that I had scavenged from the plane and dipped in silver. It was was exquisite and chilling. Unlike the streamlined, modern models, this bow was as wide a Sayid's shoulders and as long as his arm. It would put the fear of death into anyone it was pointed at.

The sound of branches twisting and leaves ripping alerted me to an incoming refugee. Large, by the loud cracks of thicker branches. Someone who couldn't move out of their way. There was only one robust person in our group, Hurley. Well, it could be worse. At least he was sweet enough to charm honey from a bee and mild as you'd please.

"Yo, Sabine," he called from the treeline, "What's all that stuff for? Where did you find that crossbow?"

I waited until he was within range of normal conversational volume and flashed a cheeky grin. "I made it with my own bare hands, son."

"Damn," Hurley remarked, allowing his gaze to linger on the bow a moment more before turning back to me with a determined look, "So, Sayid and some of the others are looking for you. They're going to try something with the radio, I think."

"I knew you were here in your official capacity," I chided, playfully of course. Still, it was hard to humor him for more than a few sentences. He didn't deserve that but sometimes I just can't help how I feel.

Hurley tried to read my face for a long minute. "So, does that mean you'll come back to the camp?"

"Yeah, I'll gather my things and head back in a minute. Thanks for coming to get me."

"Actually, I'd like to walk back with you. If you don't mind, of course."

Now that was a laugh. Still, I couldn't turn this lamb away if he needed some company. "Alright."

We walked in silence the rest of the way back to the beach which thankfully wasn't a problem. There was a fuss around some people in the center of camp but it seemed like a communal, nonviolent thing. I didn't see Sayid near our lean-to and assumed he was at the center with Jack and the others that made up our leadership core. Seeing as he was busy, I skirted the crowd and gathered some water, fruit, clean-ish linen, a lighter, and a belt into my pack along with a couple crude melee weapons I had made on the third day. It never hurt to have spares.

"Sabine."

Shit. What was Sawyer doing up and about? He had suffered at first mine and then Sayid's hands. Some people just don't know when to leave well enough alone.

"What?" I asked warily, turning slowly to face him. He was holding his hands in the air with a sly look on his face that spelled trouble.

"Relax, I come in peace," came the tired old reply. Then he noticed the crossbow and started to reach for it.

"Anxious for round two?" I asked, standing abruptly and using my body to block his way. Rash and stupid reply but an effective enough message.

"Don't get your panties in a bunch, now," he shot back, offended, "I just wanted to come by and say I'm sorry and good luck out there."

Well, an apology was certainly unexpected and I didn't have the time for it. Jack and Kate weren't the waiting around types.

"Apology accepted, now leave," I ordered as nicely as I could, motioning for him to go _quickly._

"Women," he tossed over his shoulder as he left, flapping the tarp door back down noisily. Irritating.

It was satisfying seeing their faces as I approached the group with the new trump card. Bow beats gun any day on a deserted island. Kate knew it and Jack knew it and that gave me a shameful amount of satisfaction. Sayid eyed me suspiciously as I approached the group but was obviously flattered when he caught sight of the engraving.

"How did you learn to make this?" Kate asked, "Where did you get the gold?"

Rude, intruding on the moment. I was starting to regret my earlier sympathies for this bitch. I turned back to Sayid instead and handed over the bow and quiver. "Test it."

As commanded, he dropped his pack and familiarized himself with the weight of the weapon ad actually had to strain to pull the string. We could feel the wind when he released the bolt and it stuck in the sand to the feathers.

"As deadly as a gun and stealthy," I commented for the benefit of Kate, whom all had unanimously chosen to hold our best line of defense. She got the message and tried to give me a look that said 'I'm holding my ground', but it was plain that she was feeling the sting of usurpation. Think you've got _the_ weapon? Guess again Miss Fugitive.

"Good," Jack was the first to reply, "We'll need it to catch dinner."

"It's not for hunting," I responded darkly, "or have you forgotten the whispers we all heard yesterday?"

Everyone but Sayid stopped to look at me like I had gone insane and I could only mimic their stare. Were these people serous? You'd think they'd be more inclined to trust their senses after we found a polar bear checking out camp. Thankfully my partner in crime interceded before Jack could launch into speech, Kate an argument, Charlie a rant.

"Jack, you can move out and leave Sabine and I to catch up."

Jack obviously disliked not being able to lord over everyone from the start but had no real reason not to concede to our wishes. With a single "Alright," Jack turned his back and motioned for the others to follow.

"Why did you go to all this trouble?" Sayid seemed genuinely perplexed.

"Power play," I shrugged, "the gun is subject to a vote, the deadly crossbow? All yours, potentially infinite ammo."

Sayid smiled and set the bow gently down on the grassy sand of the treeline. The way he was looking at me made the sunlight seem intolerably bright and the cries of the jungle birds sharp and agonizing. It felt like someone had stacked hot stones on my chest, sucking the air out. He reached out and touched my hair, resting his hand on my cheek and I had to close my eyes. My emotions danced like slides in an old film reel except the operator had sped the film to five times normal speed. I tried desperately to pin each one down and analyze it but they were like dust in the wind, elusive and wild.

"Good idea."

Then his hand was moving away and I opened my eyes and tried not to notice his elegant curly hair, the shine from lack of bathing adding a natural luster. The lean muscles protected by a thin but healthy layer of fat, confident stride, addictive gaze.

Shit, was I in deep waters.

"Lets go," he called when I didn't immediately follow.

I had to force my feet to move while my mind was numb. Thoughts flew around like a swarm of bees but the one that buzzed the loudest was a nagging suspicion. The owls might not be what they seem.


	3. Through the veil

It was a struggle to keep breathing as we sped through the underbrush, leaves and branches tearing at every inch of exposed skin. Sayid was starting to outstrip me and I could no longer hear Jack or Kate thundering behind me. I knew better to glance back and instead focused on looking for a defensible position. Hopefully some of our attackers had split off or slowed down by now.

It almost didn't register when Sayid slipped and winded himself. I had to bounce off a tree to slow down quickly and wind through the brush around him. He was sitting on top of a square of plywood carefully fitted into the surrounding dirt and camouflaged with a thin layer forest debris. We exchanged a heavy glance and nodded in union. Potential shelter and supplies could not be passed up.

Together, we flipped the flimsy cover up and stared down into darkness. A handmade ladder was propped up against the entrance and the air rising out was musty but not too much so. This place was old yet recently occupied.

"Hello," Sayid called down the hole and then promptly backed up in case of a projectile or hostile.

After a suitable pause I hauled myself down onto the ladder, hands buried in the dirt above in case the thing gave in. It was actually pretty sturdy by the feel of it, bamboo well notched together and ropes expertly bound. I was impressed. It didn't even wiggle that much as I descended and my shoes hit concrete at the bottom. Wait...concrete? What the hell was poured concrete doing here?

"Don't move," a woman's voice whispered in french. She was standing so close that I could feel her breath on my neck. A moment later the cold metal of a gun was pressed against my spine.

"I mean you no harm," I replied in french, or at least tried to. You'd think after taking three college courses I'd at least be adept.

"Why have you gone to the bathroom here?" Yeah, definitely needed to work on my french.

"Sabine, who is down there with you?" Sayid called down. At the sound of his voice the woman jerked the barrel deeper into the skin of my back.

"RUN, SAYID!" I shouted at the same time that I turned and seized the barrel of the gun.

The woman was quick to react, grazing my jaw with a wicked left hook. The gun went off. I felt the adrenaline move through my veins like an I.V. of ambrosia. My senses were heightened, my mind went blank. My muscles moved with exquisite force as I blocked, dodged, improvised, landed hits; but like all fights it was over too quickly. It took less than a minute for me to knock her off balance and put her in a grapevine.

"I'm not your enemy. If you promise not to hurt me, I will let you go." I hoped the hell that came out right and repeated it in English on the off chance she spoke the language.

"Let me go," she responded defiantly in my native tongue.

"I will on the condition that you calm down," I responded. Hopefully sooner rather than later-it was getting tiresome to hold her still.

Finally she settled and I let her recoil and gather herself. She stared at us with a mix of speculation and fear, eyes darting to the rifle laying by my feet and the open door above us.

"What do you want?" she asked after a while.

Sayid looked at me sideways like he wanted to take point and I nodded almost imperceptibly in acknowledgement.

"Are you the one sending the transmission?"

"Yes," she replied shortly, looking more worried now than she was before.

"We just want to leave this island," I explained quickly and gently slid the gun back to her with my foot, "and avoid all the strange goings on."

The woman wanted to get her gun but was still expecting another attack and chose not to expose herself by bending down to pick it up. "You cannot leave," she basically mumbled, turning inward, "it is too late. Some of your people might already be sick."

"Sick with what?" Sayid pressed before she could think about stonewalling us.

"I do not know," she responded honestly.

"Does it have to do with the sentient smoke?" I probed, opting to shoot straight for home.

That seemed to catch her off guard and send her to near panic. Alright, next time I'll keep my big trap shut and let Sayid do the sugar coating.

"What is your name?" Sayid asked smoothly in an effort to bring her back to a better place.

The woman wanted to protect herself but was suddenly relishing polite conversation. I couldn't blame her. Sayid was gorgeous and she had been alone for years and years. Everyone loves a cold drink of water when they're in the middle of the desert.

"Danielle."

"That's a beautiful name," I responded. After all, praise from another woman was the most flattering. It would also get awkward if she propositioned him.

"I agree," Sayid chimed in. It made Danielle's face light up all over. A protective surge welled up in me and I was shocked and disgusted. I've never been jealous before. What the hell was so special about Sayid? Danielle wasn't competition anyway. So why the little pang? It was a matter I would have to put on the back-burner for now.

Danielle's attitude abruptly shifted and she returned to a defensive posture, springing down and snatching up her rifle at the speed of light. "Why should I believe anything you say?"

The sounds of footfall through the forest above filtered down into Danielle's hideout and forced us all to become quiet and still. I felt genuine worry; fighting on more than one front was always foolish. Having to do it unprepared in an unfamiliar environment was the pits. Just two minutes after Sayid closed the hatch we had used the footfall went right over the plywood. They had seen the door and ignored it, indicating that either Danielle was their ally or they viewed her as utterly inconsequential. Any of our people would have stopped and looked beyond a doubt.

"Who else lives on this Island, Danielle?" I asked wonderingly, not expecting a response but hoping all the same. She could be our break, but then again life doesn't just hand those out.

The poor woman looked on the verge of tears and I felt empathy for her. She looked at us for a few more moments ponderously, making the final decision of friend or foe. On a whim, I reached into my pocket and pulled out a little bottle of vodka from the plane and offered it to her. It was a traditional peace gesture in every culture, the gift of alcohol, and the grin on her face told me she knew it. She gestured for us to follow her deeper into the structure, still wary, but I swear her step was noticeably lighter.

* * *

Sayid was relieved to be free of Danielle's company and excited by the amount of information Sabine had wrung from her. He could tell the ex-navy part of her wished Danielle had agreed to join with them but the aid she had given was enough. Still...there was one thing bothering him.

"When I asked if anyone could speak french, why didn't you say anything?"

Sabine tossed him a look that read, 'isn't the answer obvious?'

"Humor me," he shot back, more like a command than a request. His patience with this woman was wearing thin and the tension between them was grinding him down.

"There's no use doing anything that someone else is willing to do," Sabine shrugged, "she knows about as much as I do, anyway. No harm done."

Now that was a lazy way of thinking and for some reason it irked Sayid. He squared his shoulders off and stopped her dead in her tracks. As he squeezed Sabine's arms he was mildly shocked all over again-holding Sabine was like cuddling padded steel.

"What are you doing?" Sabine was being evasive, Sayid knew this for a fact. In the week and a half since the crash she showed immense interest in him then deflected or backpedaled whenever they got close.

"I want to understand you better," he retorted, "because so far you seem like a lazy coward."

Sabine reacted by immediately stomping the top of Sayid's foot and punching him in the gut. Winded, he had barely enough time to see her right hook and dodge. He noticed she had been careful not to actually injure him, so he could be ready for the enemy of course, and recovered enough to tangle her feet in his own and take her down with him. He was quicker but she was more observant and mercilessly exploited every opening. Eventually Sabine broke lose and sprung to her feet while Sayid's back was turned. He was tiring and missed a beat, giving Sabine enough time to strike a blow across his nose. Sayid hardly felt the pain and boxed her right back, hard. Sabine was momentarily stunned and clutched her face, blinking in an effort to keep her eyes on her opponent.

"Shit," she said in shock, "good form."

Sayid was almost inclined to smile but knew the fight wasn't over. Quick as a snake, Sabine reached overhead and pulled a branch down on Sayid's head to disorient him. She used the opportunity to knock him off balance with a kick to the abdomen. Sayid knew he would have his turn when she had to deal with those same branches herself. He correctly predicted she would duck under so he grabbed her hair and roughly dragged her backwards. Once she was completely off balance he pulled her into a crushing choke.

He had killed more than a dozen men like this and was angry at Sabine for forcing this on herself; but he did recall being rough with her shoulders...

"You win," Sabine admitted out loud after he didn't immediately let go.

Sayid was tempted to end his troubles right now and immediately hated himself for the thought. He let go and just stared at this pale, scarred and insane woman. He felt frustrated about this whole situation and wanted it resolved.

That would have to wait. The rustle of footsteps through the forest reached Sayid's ears and he took note that Sabine had moved closer to him, taking up his blind spot. Good to know she'd be reliable despite her mood.

The pregnant woman came into view and Sayid let out an audible breath. She was so consumed with looking for something that she didn't take notice of the pair and proceeded to get ready to drop her panties.

"Hey, Claire," Sabine called before she could begin. Sayid quietly thanked her for it.

"What happened to you guys?" Claire looked both relieved and frightened, which reminded Sayid that both he and Sabine were sporting fresh blood.

"We had a slight disagreement, not to worry," Sabine assured, and to Sayid's amazement she actually acted happy to see the woman complete with a sweeping hug, "you'll never believe what happened to us."

Sabine hadn't been utterly horrible to the girl so she wasn't too disoriented by the fond hello. "I'd love to find out," she blurted. Sayid thought her tone implied she wanted to appreciate the entertainment value rather than the practical benefits of their news. It was kind of strange how her motherly instincts weren't pushing her to think about survival.

"I'm going back to the caves to wash up and get some food. You can meet me back there or wait until morning. It was really good seeing you!" Sabine hugged the woman again, even acting enthused when Claire asked her to feel the baby kick. Sayid almost believed it himself, except Sabine wasn't smiling when Claire had her back turned. She had been brooding since the encounter with Danielle. Intensely. It was like a space heater set to the high and Sayid was starting to feel burned.

* * *

I felt unbelievably frustrated about the whole situation. At least washing laundry had become a mildly aggressive chore with all the fruit stains and fish oil people dribble over themselves. Rose, a kindly old african-american woman (by that I mean she had beautiful skin and the attitude of a hellcat) with a good sense of humor, was helping me. She wasn't depressed and weepy anymore which came to me as a huge relief. After a few hours of silence she had coaxed me into conversation. Normally I loathed the activity of chit-chat but the crash had turned me into a brand new person and it felt more like a comfort than a chore. It was nice to talk to someone besides Sayid, mouthwatering as he may be.

"I miss a good cup of coffee. Bernard and I used to sit together every morning over a good cup of coffee," she remarked after our previous conversation had dried up.

"Regular or decaf?" So my skillz weren't mad or anything, but I was trying my best. At least it got a laugh from Rose.

"There's a rumor going around the beach about your scars," she deadpanned.

O.K., that one threw me off. "Oh yeah?"

"They're saying your man gave them to you," Rose led delicately yet blunt and to-the-point. Sometimes it seemed like the elderly were especially susceptible to gossip.

"Is that why everyone seems to be terrified of him?" I asked, feigning casual.

"You seem like a strong woman, if he can break you..."

"Break me?" I asked incredulously and incredibly offended, "When I get my hands on that rat bastard-"

"You'll kill him. I know, and where will that get you?" Rose laughed to ease the tension. "Forget I said anything, alright?"

"No, it's not alright. I don't want Sayid to be penalized for something that wasn't his fault."I was starting to get a headache from all the explaining I've had to do since being marooned on this wretched island. "We met on opposite sides of the war. He felt bad because I was a woman and only used a knife," I gestured down to my scars, "it enabled me to survive. It didn't break me either. He got _nothing_ from me. Then, after we crashed, he came around to apologize."

"Must have been some apology," Rose remarked with a snort.

We lapsed into silence. Well, if you could call the screaming ocean and the sound of laundry being scraped over and between smooth stones silence. There was a nice strong wind today that lifted the heat and made the sun feel good again. I felt oddly comfortable with Rose. She didn't pressure me for conversation and didn't mind that I refused to answer some things. She wasn't afraid to speak plainly or acknowledge the truth.

"Soldiers fight for people like you," I commented after a while.

Rose paused in the washing and pushed her hair back for a better view. "I'm flattered. Care to explain?"

I shrugged, "I don't mind."

"That's good enough for me."

"You're a good person. I bet everyone who meets you feels the same. You give everyone you meet a piece of your serenity without them even knowing. I think it's worth fighting a war to keep you around." I thought back to my sister. She was a pure beam of light and I would have fought a legion of ancient mongols to keep her safe.

"Thank you," Rose accepted.

"We've been out here for five hours now," I couldn't help but comment. I was getting sick of pounding smelly fabric against rocks.

"We sure have," Rose replied.

"Lets hang this shit up and worry about the rest later," I suggested.

"That's not a bad idea." We both grinned cheekily and wrung out our current work.

"I bet you were a boring kid," Rose remarked offhand when we were tying up the clothesline.

The comment was enough to pique my curiosity so I took the bait. "Why do you say that?"

"You brood like you've always done it," Rose shrugged, "it makes it hard to imagine you as a happy child."

"I had a twin and we were the type that polarized to balance each other out. We were very happy children." I noticed the crushing bitterness that came with memories of Lauren was almost gone. I was happy to talk about her if anything.

"Tell me a story, then, of when you were a happy child." Rose, ever perceptive. I would have to watch her more closely in the future. Still, after all these years I was ready to open up about Lauren.

"It was a dark and stormy night," I intoned seriously. I couldn't keep a straight face which sent Rose to laughing and before I knew it I was leaping out of my skin when a firm hand grabbed my shoulder.

"For fuck's sake!" I screamed in surprise and anger. Of course it was Sayid, the poor bastard couldn't leave me alone for very long.

"Sorry." He held his hands up in the air, insincere smile playing across his lips.

Rose's good mood was still with me so I managed to act dignified enough to say hello.

"Sabine was just telling me a story," Rose told Sayid to my horror, "and I still want to hear it."

That was a different ballgame altogether-and she knew it. I narrowed my eyes first at her and then at Sayid who was giving me an imploring look.

"It was a dark and stormy night," I began, dryly this time, "Lauren and I were bored. Our parents were always traveling and the nanny got drunk so there was very little supervision. Not that clever girls needed it." At this, Rose snorted and I had to level a glare before I could continue. "Anyway, we were bored so we decided to take a walk up the hill and into the woods. We knew every game trail, river, tree, and animal by heart and loved it all for what it was. When it rained all the frogs, toads, centipedes, and worms came out and with them the possums, mice and owls to feast. We wanted to go out and watch the show from our favorite clearing. That night there was a large, full, orange moon which was always a real treat. On those nights we would gather spring onions, ramps and leafy greens and offer them to the gods of the harvest."

"You don't strike me as the superstitious type," Sayid commented offhand.

"We loved the stories and made a game out of leaving offerings for the sprites and bumpkins," I explained smoothly before waving a hand to indicate the story was continuing. Both Rose and Sayid were listening raptly and despite my earlier reluctance I was enjoying the audience.

"So, we were wandering our usual haunts, looking for the animals we knew and naming the new ones we spotted, when we see this great, rippling white stag. It's antlers were magnificent and gleamed in the moonlight. It seemed to sense our stare and fled upwards into the mountain without even giving a backward glance. Lauren and I locked eyes and I saw in her face my own expression mirrored back at me. We had both sensed this pervasive presence and knew the stag was the source. It was deep and resonate and seemed to make the entire hillside vibrate with it's ethereal presence. It infused every leaf and pebble with vigor and I swear the land was glowing from _within."_

"We raced after this unfathomable being, rushing up the rocky hillside faster than speeding bullets. When we reached the top we stopped dead; but not of our own accord." I paused to cast a somber stare across my listeners so they realized the severity of that statement. "The moon was illuminating every detail of the valley below yet it was still dark and murky yet somehow we could sense other sentient life moving around down there. It felt like a crowd. After squinting for several moments we were able to make out the silvery outline of the stag. It was the most glorious outline I had ever seen and we were brought to tears in awe of the raw majestic beauty of it all. I thought my chest would burst and I could hear Lauren's heartbeat pounding like my own. Not long afterwards we felt this magnetic pull into the valley as we fixated on the stag. We went back down into the thick shadows beneath the canopy of the trees and only vaguely registered the presences we had felt earlier as we slipped past them. They didn't even seem corporeal, more like manifestations within the thick fog that comes with rain after a hot day."

"I don't believe this," Rose laughed when I paused for breath, "but it's an amazing story."

This irritated me instantly and ferociously. How could she doubt me after everything this island had spit out?

"It is absolutely true," I blurted, my tone so sharp and indignant it surprised me as well.

Sayid gave us all a moment to calm down before interjecting. "I believe you, Sabine."

"Well ain't that sweet," Rose remarked dryly.

"Ain't's a good word, aint it?" I replied instantly, reacting on an old habit I've had since grade school. "Sorry," I apologized quickly while they mused on the comment, "I just hate how people harp on the term like it came straight out of hell."

Sayid looked dejected when Rose and I fell into a side tangent about the war on common expressions by the grammatically correct and anal-retentive. "Well, the story was just getting to the good part," I said and cleared my throat, embarrassed and angry at myself for feeling so over my breach of etiquette. Why the hell should I care?

I dropped to the sand and waited for Sayid and Rose to follow suit.

"Please continue," Sayid promoted when they were settled, gesturing widely with one hand to indicate the story before us. I had to take a deep breath and realign my thoughts. I looked up into the vast starry sky and the images danced back as if they were recorded just yesterday. Still, the breathtaking backdrop made of millions of pricks of light was nothing compared to that night.

"Orion blazed in the sky despite his season being winter, as if the night was too beautiful to hide from," I blurted, my heart swelling again with the wonder of that night, "As we approached the stag a crashing melody raged in our subconscious and just as the night's symphony swooned to a crescendo everything went black. When I woke up it was in a foreign clearing ten miles away from our house. There was a man with kind blue eyes and orange hair squatting next to me as if watching over me while I slept. He was wearing a clean cut black suit with expensive looking dress shoes in the middle of the forest and had an aura of serenity about him; and he appeared to be so deep in thought that even my noisy ascent into consciousness wasn't enough to break his reverie."

"Once I realized he was distracted I slowly turned my head and searched for Lauren. She was lying a few feet away, obviously unconscious. The clearing looked as if it had undergone an African monsoon yet Lauren and myself were mysteriously dry. I heard an intake of breath and when I looked back at the man a curious sense of calm washed over me. Somehow I knew beyond a shadow of a doubt that he was nothing to fear-in fact, the opposite. Then he spoke."

"Home is that way,' and he gestured east, 'it will take you a while to get there, but you'll make it."

"At least he was helpful," Rose commented and then fell silent, eyes still fixed on me as I told the story.

"I can think of worse men you could have run into as little girls alone in the forest," Sayid added.

"We were aware and capable of defending ourselves. Nobody bothered to hide the true nature of men from us, which is the common rule in American culture." They didn't have anything to say to that. "After that he just looked at me the way people do when they think they have something really important to tell you. I wanted to ask if Lauren was okay and as soon as the thought crossed my mind the man nodded. "Do you remember what happened to you last night?" he asked. I looked up at the blue midday sky and was shocked that I hadn't realized the passage of time until he had said something."

"Vaguely,' I told him. I couldn't tear my eyes away from his, and mind you, I was too young for boys. When I stared up into that soft blue it felt as if something large was about to dawn on me and I had to relentlessly peruse it. 'Don't,' he responded once again to my thoughts. To this day I find that unsettling yet back then it seemed as normal to me as the Sunday paper. I was on the verge of asking why when he reached out below my chin and held out a necklace I had never seen before. Yet somehow it was there, hanging around my neck. The chain looked like frozen quicksilver and the pendant contained a tear drop emerald set in gold."

"The pendant you wear now!" Sayid wondered and really looked at it for the first time.

I nodded gravely. "Exactly. The man told me it was a great gift though not given by him. He wouldn't specify but he told me not to lose it or let my sister lose hers."

"Now I know you're putting me on. Magical beings giving gifts of fine jewelry." Rose got to her feet and dusted her pants off. "It's getting late and I don't want to be caught out here when the monster decides to come back."

"Fine. But don't ask for another storytelling in the future."

"Sabine." Sayid was warning me not to be rude. "I believe you," he added after Rose had gone.

"That was ungrateful after I admitted to something like that," I shot back.

"Do you want to take a walk?" Good counter, I'd give him that.

"You know I'd love that." Okay, so maybe my tone was a little grudging. How could I be grudging about a moonlit beach walk? On the other hand, why can't I just decline and stop whatever was forming between us before it became a problem?

I looked into the emerald for the first time in a while and let Sayid and the rest of the world drop away.

What I saw was horrifying. Dynamite, fire, death, the others. It was guerrilla warfare in our own private little war. I closed my eyes after the first couple flickers and forcibly stopped the visions from coming. I had learned the hard way what knowing too much could do.

"Let's go," I announced and sprang to my feet too quickly to be casual. Sayid was looking at me suspiciously, which made me nervous, but my head was spinning with memories and visions and the overwhelming need for companionship. I knew war put me in a 'carpe diem' mindset and questioned weather or not I should accelerate the relationship with Sayid based on immediate danger. Shared danger too, which made him all the more alluring.

Before I even realized the thought my lips were on his and my hands were traveling his body. He reacted instantly and fiercely. It felt like we were caught in a comet's flaming wake. He felt so perfect, strong yet supple. His fingers fearlessly traced my scars and suddenly my hands were undoing the buttons on his pants. We fell back onto the grass...

And then one of those sudden, torrential rains came cascading down on us to ruin our perfect moment. I wouldn't let it. The scent of rain forest mingled with the hormones in his sweat was an aphrodisiac too potent to resist. I relished the taste on my tongue and the feel of his hands roaming under my shirt. I wound my hands through his luxurious hair when he flipped me over and twined my legs around his own.

"Sabine," Sayid broke off to look into my eyes, "I can't do this without knowing how you feel."

"What?" I was stunned. We were getting so passionate and now he wanted to talk about feelings? Most women would be thrilled but all I wanted in that moment was to proceed into the ravaging phase. "How I feel?"

"I think I am falling in love with you."

Then my mood was gone, replaced by panic and a strange choking emotion that I vaguely remembered but couldn't place.

"You don't have to love me back," Sayid patched smoothly, sensing my discomfort and putting a little more space between us.

"I-I-" I started, my throat suddenly dry as a bone. How could I suddenly put deep feelings into words? Who did that anymore?

Then I knew what to say and it almost shocked me out of my skin. "You're the most physically attractive man I've ever met. Your mind is even better. While I don't claim to understand love, I feel protective of you. I would fight to the death to save your life." Geez, after only a fortnight? Still, I kept feeling the pulling bond that we formed during the war. Kindred souls, whatever it was called.

"In that instance, I would want you to run so that I could save yours." Sayid leaned back down and pressed our chests together before laying another enchanting kiss on me.

"I'm a soldier, Sayid, down to my soul," I murmured, trying to fix my eyes on his so the world would stop spinning around us, "You need to understand that I would never run."

Suddenly Sayid went very still and his gaze had shifted downwards. A cold, sick sensation filled my stomach and with horror I realized he was _seeing_ into the emerald. Nobody had had that ability before, not any one night stand or fling. Not even Lauren had been able to see into mine, and I hers.

I clenched my hand around the pendant and the effect physically knocked Sayid back onto the sand.

"Don't speak of it immediately," I warned, "you'll need time to process."

Sayid's chest was heaving and that heart-stopping bulge in his pants had receded. I witnessed in his face the horror and shock that I had seen in Lauren's, felt for myself time and again over the years. "What?" He asked, floundering, face transforming into a giant question mark.

"I don't know. I suspect it's for scrying, like a mystic's crystal ball," I explained hurriedly. He had just become privy to my greatest secret. I hid that secret from myself sometimes when the weight of the future became unbearable. That stone was also my greatest life advantage. Uncontrollable fear flickered and rolled somewhere deep down.

"I saw the others," Sayid explained breathlessly, "and our people. There was fire, and the black smoke again..."

I crawled over to where he was sitting a couple feet away and wrapped my arms around him, pressing his face into my breasts. The former Republican Guard was shaking like a leaf and we were both too overwhelmed for speech.

"It's startling and well beyond the realm of known science. I know it's a lot to wrap your mind around but everything you observed in the emerald is the uncertain future. It takes energy from you to see what lies ahead so we will need to get you some fish to eat." Alright, that had come out surprisingly stable and logical. If anything occurring now could fit into logic.

He was still silent and shaking and had wrapped his arms around me in a stone grip. The physical effects could be severe especially if you weren't ready for it. I covered him in my cardigan and brought us to our feet. Sayid swayed a little, still woozy from the visions, so I handed him my water which he drank like a fish. I stepped closer so that he was looking right into my eyes.

"Listen, Sayid, I tell everyone this was came from Kay Jewelers. Do you understand?" He nodded once the water was all gone. "My advantage is now our advantage but it comes with a price. It cannot be used on a daily basis without killing us." Another nod. Orientation over.

"I had no idea," Sayid murmured. I could hear his stomach rumbling and started us back to camp. The rain had stopped by now and the wet sand afforded us solid ground. We had to stop twice on the way back so he could catch his breath.

"I've seen it too," I consoled once we were back in our tent. Sayid was ravenously devouring two cold fish and a mango and nodded in response, unable to break away from his meal. "What I'm trying to say is that the choice is yours, Sayid. I want you to realize that you have my truest loyalty. The fact that I didn't immediately kill you, instead trusting you to know and inviting you to partake in it, shows that. I will lead when you want me to and follow when you want. I will keep the pendant to myself if you want. I will do anything short of compromising my morals or getting rid of the pendant. I just want you to be _happy,_ " I blurted breathlessly. The last part sounded like a plea. "I don't really care about what happens on this Island beyond our survival."

Sayid finished his mango and took a drought of water. Then he rested his elbows on his knees and gave me a scrutinizing look. He had to squint because our electric lantern was running out of batteries. The silence was killing me. How was he taking this? Did he see only violence or was there something more? He could be insane or freak out and try to kill me. I didn't know if I had the heart to fight Sayid to the death.

"I believe you," he responded in a tone so soft I had to strain to hear.

"Of course you do, you just experienced it for yourself," I responded, taken aback. So maybe I was still in shock, the gears of my mind barely spinning. If someone asked me my name I wouldn't have known it. All I could think about is the burden the visions had been in the beginning and how long it took to control the ability. Poor Sayid was probably having afterimages and trying desperately to piece it all together. Believing was a good start but what about the rest? _What about the rest?_

"I believe that you genuinely wish for my happiness," Sayid clarified, "but I wonder what you wish for yourself. What if I wanted to make you happy?"

The question irked me. I wanted to talk about preparing for the others, talk about the visions when he was ready, have wild passionate sex and then fall asleep. Now I had to wrack my brains for happiness, something that I've always found to be elusive and worth little attention.

"Well," I replied, seizing the first thing to come to mind, "retirement would be a nice start but we have to wait for that."

"Obviously," Sayid laughed.

"Obviously," I agreed. Our general playful atmosphere was coming back and I broke out the bottle of whiskey we found in the wreckage. My heart couldn't be lighter. Adventures with a handsome man, booze, sex in the future, and nothing in particular to do. It could be a dream come true, but I was never really a dreamer. Better to focus on the present and look to the future later; in a darker place when the need was greatest.


	4. Lost and Found

Someone had missed Jack's 'what not to eat in the land before time' lecture and gave the whole camp a mild dose of magic mushrooms. I, understandably, was pissed. A diet of mostly fruit with the occasional fish was tearing me up inside and making me weak. Predictably, hunger had driven me ranging away from our camp for that succulent boar we had dined on during the first week. At week four, this was only our second beast. Locke and Boone should be ashamed of themselves.

Another scream broke out among the throng of people gathered in the sand and daylight. I only had enough energy to lift my head and observe the group calming the individual. No, they didn't all see the monster. It was all in his head, calm down, calm down...

My own mind was spinning intricate patterns for me in the sand and sky. My whole body felt like metal that had melted and fused to the sand, rendering me immobile, but in a curiously comforting way. Each second stretched into eternity as we all rode out the trip together. The shade felt exquisite as did the sun and I relished them both as the branches above gave first one then the other. For once the forest seemed to harmonize into the most beautiful music I had ever heard. Things could definitely be worse. Sayid was laying within reach of his beautiful crossbow and my own simple longbow was just as accessible. If the others attacked the camp we could at least attempt a defense. In the mean time we could relax.

I reached out on a whim and took Sayid's hand, and as I brushed my fingers against his the whole of my being sighed in contentment. He was familiar. I'd rather be full and drunk than slightly queasy and tripping, but it was still nice to be with someone I felt comfortable with. There had been so few in my life and I cherished them all no matter how short lived our time was.

"When I was a boy, someone once told me that the streets of America were paved in drugs," Sayid mumbled out of the blue.

I couldn't help but laugh. "Every culture that ever existed has been fond of drugs and alcohol," I responded, "though some abhor it in public. America is a fifty-fifty mix, I'd say, of those ashamed and those unashamed."

We both laughed uncontrollably at that; though for what reason neither of us could explain. It really wasn't that funny. Our laughter had sparked a wave of giggles in the others sitting a few yards away and soon the whole camp was in hysterics. It only made us all laugh that much harder.

 _Maybe,_ I thought to myself, _we should all do this more often._ Laughing was bliss after all the heart wrenching that had been going on lately.

The first wave of sobriety washed over me and suddenly I wasn't enjoying this at all. We were sitting ducks, in this state I could almost see the feathers, and while Sayid and I kept our gaze in the direction of the jungle the other's weren't so cautious. People were fucking noisily in their tents and just inside the trees. The only other person who seemed mildly alert was Sawyer.

Another brief period of clarity before I was pulled down under once more. Coming down was worse than the flu. We really needed to move back to the caves, a nice and defensible position, and it was taking everyone such a long time to get their collective shit together.

I stood up and the whole world around me mashed in on itself like a kaleidoscope and exploded out in a rush of vivid color. The sun was too bright and my mouth was dry. I didn't know what I'd hoped to gain by getting up, or what I could really do besides stare at my surroundings and let the hallucinations run their course, but the damage was done. It felt like my tongue was shriveling and it stuck to the roof of my mouth when I tried to swallow. Sayid was most likely in the same unbearable condition so I forced myself to turn and walk evenly towards the water basin near the trees. People bounded around and past me and the motion made me feel woozy. Still, I continued relentlessly onward with my worn plastic water bottle clutched in my hand. Water was the priority. If I didn't have that cool, refreshing spring water in my mouth in thirty seconds-well, I would die. It was as simple as that.

The others had circled the main reservoir and dunked their greedy hands in; but all had forgotten about this one. That is, until I walked up to it. My bottle was only halfway full when eager, greasy, sandy limbs splashed through the surface. _Gross,_ I thought with revulsion, but couldn't blame them. They had lost control.

The main water supply had been littered, drained, and tipped over by then and the mob on the scene was growing by the second. I had to press the water bottle to my chest, close my eyes, and squeeze through the twenty or so writhing bodies pressing in on me. They smelled like salt, body odor, piss and shit. By the time the fresh sea air provided blessed relief I felt covered with filth. My skin itched where the others had rubbed against me and I was almost afraid to touch the cap to the water bottle.

Another wave of hallucinations engulfed me and stretched my thirst to epic proportions. Filth was no longer of concern-this was a matter of survival.

Sayid staggered up to the treeline just in time to get his fill of the luscious hydration. His complexion had darkened considerably since we had first laid down and with a jolt I realized the same had happened to me. _Hell, so much for a good trip._

"Locke and Boone slipped out of camp while the others were distracted," Sayid reported with a giant grin. He had drank all our water and we looked now at the newly defiled water supply, wishing it was untainted.

"I tracked them to their hidden spot," I managed with a shred of composure, then broke out in uncontrollable laughter. My face felt like it was splitting in half and I desperately wished this all to be over. "Couldn't get a good look." Stifled giggles this time. "Lets go back to the caves, supply up, then go see what they're up to."

This might not have been such a good idea in our current state but it sure beat the hell out of lying around with everyone else. The beach had become sweltering anyway, far from the divine warmth it had provided earlier in the day. The walk was short yet dragged on forever and we were both surprised to find the small encampment utterly deserted. The promise of my boar had apparently trumped all reason.

In the absence of prying eyes, gathering supplies turned into a lengthy love making followed by a blessedly cool bath. The high was wearing down into a ripple of background visuals that were easy to ignore. The forest was subdued but not utterly quiet and we allowed it to lull is into a false sense of security. After we dressed we sat by the edge of the pool and drank bottle after bottle of water until we felt like we would burst. Even the sounds of the rest of the camp making their way back to the watering hole didn't bother us; we had had all the time we needed. Fate couldn't have been a gentler hand.

The mushrooms made it hard to remember but I was still left with a general sense of his presence. I felt utterly serene, maybe a little uncomfortable from the buzz. Unfortunately the voices were growing louder and we had moments left to slink off unnoticed.

Time to stir up some trouble.

* * *

Sayid never really lost confidence that Sabine knew where she was going, but he did wonder how much she was relying on intuition. This mental fog was making it hard to remember anything. He was battling with his curiosity over the sanity of the whole situation when he heard the obvious giggling of their targets. Locke and Boone had eaten the boar same as everyone else despite the public shame it had brought. Sabine had done nothing to discourage the notion.

"Lets slow down and see what we can overhear," Sabine whispered after hanging back to walk beside him. Sayid was struck by the beauty of her red-brown hair in the sunlight, the way it rippled in gentle waves to the middle of her back. It was ragged, lending her a wild cast, and her sharp features and pale skin made her dark eyes haunting. Her skin was perfectly unblemished and she had almost a statuesque quality when she sat deep in thought, eerily still for hours at a time. He had spent hours at night observing her in this state. As far as he knew, she was completely oblivious when reflecting.

Sayid had little experience with forests and thundered through the underbrush while Sabine hardly made a whisper of sound. He tried to pay attention to the way she moved but failed to discern any particular method or pattern. He was getting frustrated with himself when she put one hand on his shoulder and manipulated his center of gravity as they walked. It made his feet fall in all the right places, dodging here, twisting there, not putting his full weight down.

"This kind of stealth relies on muscle memory most of all. Relax, observe, and let your instinct guide you."

Sayid wasn't sure if he could do much of anything besides tramp along in this humidity but he did his best to do as she suggested. After a dozen yards he thought he was getting the hang of it and became vaguely aware of voices in conversation.

"I don't know." The voice belonged to Locke.

"Well, if you don't know and I don't know, what are we going to do?" Boone this time. They both broke out in fresh laughter and threatened to send Sayid into the same state. He and Sabine were still getting the occasional rush.

Sabine broke out into the clearing and Sayid had to scramble to follow.

"What the hell is going on here?" Sabine demanded angrily, though her face was split in a Cheshire grin. She had drawn her longbow from behind her back and had her sights honed on Locke. "What is that thing?"

Locke appeared unconcerned and laughed openly at her display. "What, this?" He gestured to the small metal door before him. "This is our hatch." He erupted in another fit of giggles and Boone predictably followed suit.

Sayid pulled out his own crossbow and covered for Sabine. Even her shoulders were shaking with laughter and his own mask of calm was threatening to break. Luckily another bubble of sobriety surfaced and his head cleared for a few blessed minutes.

"What's down the hatch?" Sabine had a hard time choking the words out, obviously still in the hold of the hallucinogen. They both knew the bows were a farce at this point and lowered their weapons while the other two collected themselves.

"We don't know!" Locke finally exclaimed and it sent everyone into fits of rolling laughter this time. "We can't get it open!"

Sabine sobered and turned to Sayid, warning him with her eyes that she needed him to watch her back. He didn't intend to fail her.

"Sayid and I will go find something that will work," she told Locke quite finally. _You are not welcome to join us_ was the strong undercurrent.

"Alright, Boone and I have everything we need already." _You're not getting away that easy._

Sayid was already starting to develop a headache. He hated these power struggles.

"We'll see you back at camp then." _Yeah, but I'm still getting away._

"You're not taking us with you?" Locke wasn't going to drop this one.

"We work better alone," Sabine stated, speaking slowly as if Locke was a small child.

"How do we know you won't open the hatch without us?" Locke retorted. Sometimes it seemed like everyone on this island had a stubborn streak.

"You're welcome to camp here and wait for our safe return," Sayid interjected in a deadpan tone _._ He was starting to wonder how much longer this could drag on.

"You'll have to knock us out first."

" _Us?"_ Boone wasn't keen on the idea of things coming to blows and Sayid couldn't blame him. Sabine had been in the American Navy and then the Air Force, not to mention his own military experience. If only Locke realized he didn't have a chance.

Sabine laughed mercilessly and Sayid could tell by the set of her shoulders she was about to take Locke up on his offer. He also knew that would alienate them further from the rest of the camp when they needed to be thought of as leaders.

"Sabine," Sayid warned softly and put an arm around her shoulders. He was gratified to feel her melt into him. "What harm would it do to let them tag along?"

Sabine gave him a dark look that said it all. _They'll slow us down and prevent us from becoming intimate, that's the harm._ He could almost hear her saying the words.

"Fine," she relented, surprising them all, "but _you_ follow _our_ lead. Rebel against me at any time and I will leave you for the others."

Locke knew a victory when he had one and raised his hands in acceptance. "I'll follow your lead," he repeated to drive the point home.

"You might not be sincere; but I am," Sabine threatened and raked the two over with the most threatening look Sayid had ever seen on a woman's face. It made him want her all over again and to remember it this time.

* * *

I was sick to death of Locke weaseling his way into everyone's affairs and finding his own trouble on top of it. He was like the antichrist. First he hands out knives and protection and then turns out to be a low level employee at a cardboard box factory hellbent on sucking us into the Cult of the Island. Now he was trailing behind me, occasionally singing, foolishly feigning ignorance to the peril we shared. I wished I could get a soothing eyeful of Sayid and assess his mindset. I had driven our party relentlessly through the forest in search of Danielle though I hadn't shared this plan with anyone else. We might be a bit more successful if I could just get a moment alone with Sayid.

"What did you do before we landed here?" Locke asked out of the blue. It took a minute of prompting for me to realize he was talking to me. What the hell did he care? It didn't matter now and it wouldn't once we escaped. _If_ we escaped.

"I wouldn't be wise to talk," I responded. I wasn't going to get into my personal affairs with these two numbskulls.

"Are you afraid the others will hear us?" Locke continued to taunt.

"Yes," I replied blandly. I was starting to wish we had gone with the punch and run option. It might have caused a political stir within the group but our reputations would recover. Locke was not well liked and suspicions were forming over his friendship with Boone. The things he said sounded to me a bit fanatical and I was starting to realize he thought of this island as a conscious entity.

"To hell with the others!" Shouting wouldn't do. I turned around with surprising speed and slapped Locke across the face so hard he was momentarily stunned. He looked genuinely shocked though it was hardly more than a love tap.

"Strike one," I warned, "we will rest here for now."

I brought Sayid to me with my eyes and waited for Locke to pair off with Boone and retreat a few feet for private conversation. We all had plots to hatch. I moved us so that there was a thin layer of foliage shading us before embracing Sayid. He was a little surprised but returned the gesture and took it one step further by brushing his lips against mine before bringing me in for a crushing kiss. It made me head swim when it should be clear. He had a natural musk that was enough to drive anyone up a tree and his body molded perfectly to mine. He was always warm to the touch no matter the weather; a trait which I found to be particularly endearing. I felt like I could drink him in forever and lamented the fact that I couldn't. I felt cheated because I couldn't remember our earlier sex. I was pissed all over again that Locke and Boone had come along. If it wasn't for them, I could tear Sayid's clothes off without a second thought.

"Danielle might not approach if they're around," I speculated out loud when we came up for air, knowing somehow that we were of the same mind all long.

"Now is a good time to leave them," Sayid responded, "Locke might not be able to track us."

I nodded in complete agreement. I was burning to explore the hatch. There could be weapons, maps, ammunition, canned goods or a multitude of other things to ease the burden of survival.

"I'll take the rear and he won't pick up our trail."

We blended into the forest without another sound. Sayid was an incredibly fast learner and hardly made a noise or turned a leaf as he slipped through the dense underbrush. He didn't even react when we had to sidle through an almost impenetrable thicket of thorns; we lifted our clothes so they wouldn't snag and the sharp points traced bright red lines across our skin. It was hard not to notice how flexible Sayid was or how gracefully he made his way though the jungle. He reminded me of the mountain lions of my childhood.

After a half hour of putting more distance between us and the cries of those we left behind, we finally found a supply of fresh water. It was a welcome reprieve after several hours of traipsing through mosquitoes and heat. We couldn't resist a dip in the shallow water no matter how urgent our business was. The bottom of the creek was filled with soft mud that squished between my toes and eased the soreness in my feet. They were cracked and callused from weeks of struggling to survive on top of a lack of hygiene tools.

Another thunderstorm took us unawares, the rain freezing cold this time. The trees in this area had high canopies with many slender leaves that curl downwards, allowing the rain to slip off with ease and pelt the creatures down below. Sayid reached the backpacks first and pulled out the tarp I carried. His lips were starting to turn blue from the chill. Fog rose explosively from the sun-warmed ground and made vision an obstacle but lent the jungle an eerie beauty. The sounds of the birds were distorted and pierced the rain only now and then in loud, urgent tones. This was out of everyone's comfort zone after such consistent heat.

We might have gone out of Danielle's circle. I scoured the clouds for any hint of the sun and got our bearings. "We should move," I shouted through the downpour.

"I think we should stay," Sayid responded, "one of us would have to go tarpless."

We couldn't help but laugh at that. The soup was still having the occasional effect.

"This weather is in my blood. You can have the tarp." I could tell he didn't want to take me up on the offer.

"The rains don't usually last for long," he pressed. It really was a chilling downpour.

"Movement will keep us warm," I countered. _Try to get out of that one._

I had succeeded in exasperating him. "Fine," he relented, pulling the tarp off of me when he stood, "lead the way."

"Okay," I replied happily. We had found the dynamite in the rain. The future wasn't always set in stone but the visions usually came to pass in some form or another. Sayid was right; the rains don't usually last long. That meant we were close. I fought hard to remember the position of the sun in the sky when we found the rotting ship.

"Why is pressing on so important right now? Danielle could be miles away." He was always observant, a strength I admired when not used against me.

"We haven't been just looking for Danielle," I confessed, "I think I know this moment."

"You used The Emerald?" Sayid had expressed a want full inclusion into any activities concerning it. I hadn't agreed, exactly...

"To clarify what I had already experienced. It's not as draining and I wasn't successful," I explained. _No need to get upset._

"What do you know?" He was staring at me with those gentle eyes.

I didn't truly want to keep anything from him. Coupled with the puppy dog eyes, I had no choice but to give in. "I think there are explosives in an old wrecked ship called _The Black Rock._ "

Sayid put a hand on my shoulder to keep me from moving on and pressed his forehead against mine, using his free hand to hold the pendant up between us. "I want to understand this as you do."

I couldn't help pulling away. "It might not be the same for you." How could I put years of instinct and intuition into words? I could try to help but there wasn't really any other way than trial and error. "You shouldn't use it unless we have no other choice, Sayid. I don't understand it and I don't think it's benign. I don't even know how it came to be or why I have it."

"You said your sister had one too." He was right and it was stitched into the fabric of my bra. "Did it have the same effect on her?"

A horrible idea dawned over me that chilled me worse than any rain. _What if I gave it to Sayid?_ Lauren's pendant had worked similarly as far as I knew, although it had somehow magnified her presence and drew others to her as a natural leader. She would never admit to enjoying it but I always suspected.

"Sabine?" Sayid's concern startled me back to the present. I knew Sayid wouldn't misuse the gift and I doubted it mattered where he was born or what his faith was. I didn't think he much bought into the fanatical testaments to which so many devoted their lives. Every faith had to have it's great crusade. What did that say about organized religion?

I peeled off my wet shirt before I could think about it any longer. I had stitched the opening into the seam and regretted damaging my one good bra, but it was time. This was the right thing to do and I knew it with a finality that shocked me.

Sayid's eyes were disbelieving when I pulled out the delicate chain. It hadn't tarnished in all the years of hand washing and careful drying. Not through all the seawater or rains since the crash. Hell, it wasn't even tangled which was a bigger miracle than anything else. I motioned for Sayid to turn around and he shook his head violently.

"I can't."

"You have to." It came out a little more forcefully than I thought.

"I'm flattered but this is too precious. What if you do not love me the way you think you do?"

"Whatever binds us together is nameless and wild and I'm sure of it just like I'm sure this is the right thing to do." I knew the words were true as soon as they left my mouth.

Sayid looked at me pleadingly. "I don't understand the implications of this, Sabine."

He was right. This was a big thing and he deserved to have his questions answered. "For some reason the force in this stone accepts the one within you. This is just a theory. You can't take it off as long as you live and it can be a great burden; but it is an advantage."

"What if it's power comes from evil?"

"I don't believe that and I've had one hanging around my neck for twenty years," I replied honestly, "I think it is connected to the spirits of my homeland. I guess they loved us as much as we loved them."

"Why would it work for me?" Sayid was speaking mostly to himself and lapsed into thought. "If I met you under ordinary circumstances I would have considered you insane."

"Haven't you seen anything strange in your motherland?" I had had a few encounters on my brief tour. That land was home to countless dead civilizations and their remnants were scattered all over if you had eyes to see. Borders were nothing more than lines on a map but mythology was whole and real and thriving despite the modern age.

The rain let up and the sounds of the forest begrudgingly resumed. The deluge had been brief even by the island's standards and the creatures had expected a longer nap. I aired out my wet clothes and shuffled my feet to take the chill out.

I sighed, "Look, there's a big benefit to you accepting the amulet."

"Besides seeing the future?" Sayid looked skeptical and his lips turned down into a frown.

"Like I said earlier, this is a scrying device. Lauren and I researched the art across every country in the world and these amulets seem to hold the properties of them all. We would be able to send visions and speak to each other through reflective surfaces. It would be a huge asset during the coming storm," I shrugged, "once you get the hang of it you could even spy on your enemies."

Sayid looked shocked. "Why haven't we been doing this before?"

"I told you, every use uses up energy. Seeing the present takes less of a toll but sustained use always ends the same way. Near death," I moved into a patch of sun, "I would have told you if I had observed anything meaningful."

"Can you see anything now?"

Okay, so we were getting off topic. I decided to humor him anyway and moved closer to a puddle, focusing my energy inward and searching for anyone who meant me harm. The baby blue eyes of a woman stared back at me as she brushed her hair, doing a little jig and singing. It looked like she was in a town house but through the window I could see the familiar foliage of the island beyond an electromagnetic fence. I could see two other houses outside of the window and after another minute some children bicycled by.

I pulled myself back out and suppressed the shakes that followed each use. "Nothing again. A housing development guarded by an electromagnetic fence, children. A blue eyed, blonde haired woman of medium build brushing her hair. She was singing but looked oddly miserable despite it. Nothing we didn't already know."

"And you got all this from a pool of water?" Sayid was still disbelieving.

"Hey, at the very least you'll get an expensive gift," I shot, ruffled. This was getting to be a pain in the ass and we were wasting time. We needed to find The Black Rock before Locke and Boone.

"I don't doubt you," Sayid whispered, "it's just that I still don't know why you would give this to me. It is a powerful and rare gift, you should save it for your husband or children."

A sharp pain pierced my gut. "You're the only person it will accept. I can feel it to the depths of my third eye." The thought of getting introduced to in-laws, the wedding, and pregnancy was disquieting. I wasn't that kind of girl and the thought of a family only depressed me.

Sayid drew closer and put his hands around my fist, inside of which was Lauren's amulet. "Are you one hundred percent sure?"

My stomach was doing backflips. I felt my palms heat up as psychic energy leapt from the emerald and began to fill Sayid and I with a new kind of buzz. It was weaving Sayid's energy with my own in a golden, braided chord traced with a rippling silver. I could see it clearly, forming an infinite loop between us.

"There's so much in this world I have yet to learn," Sayid murmured as he leaned in until our foreheads were touching.

I pulled away the second I felt the heat building there and the start of thought transference. "You're gifted," I startled myself with the admission, "and I find that extremely attractive."

Sayid gave me a long, lingering and lustful look that stopped my heart in it's tracks. We both knew better than to make a spectacle in the middle of the woods and attract the attention of gods knew what.

I opened my hand and the unbroken chain had split at the back. Sayid let me hold it up to his neck and I was amazed to see the ends reach for each-other and fuse back into a rippling masterpiece. It was hard to get a sense for my body, like the sensation you get right before passing out, then the world came slamming back to me in colors so vivid I almost cried. _This is a world worth living for!_

Sayid was still reeling as his body was infused with a strange and exotic energy. I felt as if the entire galaxy was a part of me in that moment. We were specks, yet we were everywhere too in a great, vast universe filled with infinite beauty and breathless symmetry. I couldn't see the earth, only this great, pulsing explosion of colors and sensations. I felt myself drifting away from this reality as the truest part of myself navigated the currents. I could feel Sayid with me, a wonderful bright white light that was simultaneously humming with some dark energy. I was startled and at the speed of thought I was all wrapped up with him, the feeling of great understanding dawning all over me. The feeling of love, shock, awe...

The next thing I knew I was laying on my back staring up at the twilight sky and wondering if the sun was rising or setting. It had definitely been rising before the amulet. I turned my head and a bolt of panic shook my whole body as memories surfaced.

The orange haired man was once again nearby. This time he was leaning against a tree with his hand over his chin as he pondered deeply. Unlike the Man In Black motif of the clearing, he was wearing a loose white tunic and rough-spun pants tied around the waist with a soft looking braid of rope. His feet were bound in roman style sandals.

"What is it this time?" I asked, voice cracking in a bone dry throat. I struggled to grope around for my bag and drank eagerly from the still full water bottle-keeping one eye on the orange haired man the entire time. His gaze had shifted to me but he was still turned completely inward. I looked around me and spotted Sayid a few yards away, still unconscious as had been the case with Lauren, then turned back to study the man.

"You're a spirit of this island, aren't you?" It came out as a question but I was certain all on my own. This realization had been secretly dawning on me and now it came thundering into my consciousness, the elephant in the room free at last.

"You knew we were all going to end up here, didn't you? Why? Why reveal yourself now? And back then for that matter. What do you want us to do?" I didn't sense any evil emanating from him and desperately hoped I wasn't having an off day.

The man's blue eyes darkened as he came right up to me, kneeling so that we could speak on equal ground. "It was only a matter of time until you figured out how to use your gift against me." He stopped there as if he had said too much and was determined not to say more.

"Do the natives know about you?" I asked quickly in a hope to keep him off his guard.

His look told me all I needed to know and anger flashed briefly in those clear blue eyes as reaction played across my face.

"You're not letting anyone leave. They're not letting anyone leave." I was debating the merits of begging for the first time in my life. Instead I chose the dignified approach. "Would you please tell me why?"

"I want you to figure that out for yourself."

I was suddenly so pissed I could spit fire. It took everything I had to submerge the emotion and think rationally. Sayid was starting to make sounds and the orange haired man was standing again. I was struck with fear that he would leave like he did before.

"Please give me some help," I asked desperately. To hell with dignity.

"Stay away from The Black Smoke," he warned in an almost casual tone while his stare was so grave I felt like I could die.

"What is it?"I was pleading now.

He was already on his way out and paused for only a half second before disappearing entirely.

"Sabine?" Sayid was fully conscious and I turned my attention back to him, still in disbelief and shock. "This is just like you described."

"Plus a little more," I added numbly. I was still trying to get over the anger and dismay at having so many questions raised and so few answered.

"Who was just here?" Sayid's hair was filled with forest debris that rained down and stuck to his sweaty back as he moved his head, looking around for the orange haired man. I was about to reply when the whispers started all around us. We immediately went still and knew it was useless to run for cover. We were surrounded.

To my relief and horror the whispers abruptly stopped and the entire forest fell silent except the very faint sound of boots moving through the underbrush. What would have scared the others off? Was it Locke or Boone, having gotten separated without our guidance?

To our increasing horror a series of clicks started along with the deep groan we had heard come from the black smoke before. I moved to Sayid's side and instinctively took his hand. We could have survived an ambush but how can you overcome a vapor monster? We exchanged another glance and silently decided to stay put. It hadn't attacked us the last time when we didn't run. No sense provoking it or triggering a predatory instinct. This dark menace possessed some intelligence but it would be foolish to assume it was completely sentient and aware of it's actions.

It came slithering out of the trees with a flurry of sparks and thundered around us. It stopped just short and circled close, but it appeared it couldn't actually touch us, raging against an unseen barrier. I could feel the emerald burning against my chest and a slight tingle as it drew on me for energy. So we had a shield, but not an indefinite one. I hoped fiercely that the creature wouldn't figure that out now or later.

Like the last time, the creature took a good look and went on it's way. I felt like my head was about to spin off my neck as I tried to wrap my mind around everything that had just come to pass. Sayid and I were now connected in a delightful, deep, and intense way. I wanted nothing more than to make hot, passionate love to him and then bask in the afterglow of the experience. I knew that we needed to stay alert, focused, and accomplish our task. The orange haired man had given me a lot to absorb as well.

 _He's not going to let us leave the island._

I turned to look at Sayid with fresh horror as it all washed over me again and again. He had said we could use the emeralds to reach him. To observe unseen, possibly, or to interact, or varying degrees of both; that I didn't know and was anxious to find out. We needed answers. The others will never relent and neither will our people. We had to figure this out and fast if we wanted most of our remaining people to survive-we had already gone down in number by half. The overwhelming amount of tasks ahead brought me down to a whole new low. I just wanted to rest and get my shit back together.

"Let's start moving," I mumbled, taking real stock of our surroundings for the first time since waking. Like the last time, we weren't where we had originally been. The sun was setting fast and we would really need to book it to find a safe place to camp before full dark.

"I can't find my pack."

"I was wearing mine when we lost consciousness," I remarked. Sayid's had been laying under a broad leaf by a nearby tree. I silently handed him my extra water, noticing that like before the whole clearing was soaked yet we were oddly dry. The orange haired man's ominous demeanor was a dark cloud lingering on my horizon, crowding with all the other dark clouds this place had brought on. This was turning out to be a hell of a day.


End file.
